Practically Fearless Living

The practice of Marriage: My heart, your home

Last Sunday, I had the opportunity ... the privilege ... of singing "Come and make my heart Your home," an absolutely gorgeous piece of worship music by Christy Nokels. I lived with that song for weeks preparing it. I listened to it everywhere I went, and I sang it in my head over and over and over at work, at home, at night, in the morning. It is now virtually part of my DNA.

When I came across this collection of posts  shared by Christian women from all walks of life leading up to Valentines Day, I pondered that song again, this time with my husband in mind (I'm sure God will understand).

"Come and make my heart your home, come and be everything I am and all I know..."

   

I married a builder.  I married a man who creates homes for people. Walls to keep them safe. Roofs to protect them. Carpets, hot water, fireplaces to comfort them. Doors for them to open to the world or close to keep the darkeness at bay.

He built our family a home, too. We've raised three amazing children there. We've gathered in its rooms and laughed, fought, cried and loved. We've held tight there and now we are letting to there, too, as they begin to leave for their own journeys.

Over all those years, he was building something else, too. He was building a home for himself in my heart. His quiet, determined faith has been a foundation for me (I am anything but quiet and I am always filled with questions). His absoulute confidence in me has been like four strong walls holding me up when I thought I couldn't take one more thing. His humor has been my comfort (sometimes an aggravation when I wanted to stay mad so desperatly).  His assurance that no matter what tomorrow brings, we can handle it has been the roof that has protected me when the storms raged.

When I look at my husband I see a man who is so much a part of my heart.

Over the past two-plus decades, he has built a home in my heart that is as strong and safe and beautiful, and in doing so, he has become part of my DNA. What greater gift could he have given me?

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman ...’

Ever have one of those moments where you feel as if you've been sleepwalking through your days? I had one of those moments this morning.

Hey, self, it's almost February 2011. Pay attention. Big stuff is happening. You have:

* Work deadlines
* A daughter who will graduate from high school this year
...but first she'll go to prom
* A wellness goal or two to take care of
* A FAFSA to file (two actually)
* Taxes to do
* Two college visits to make

And that's just the start. Today, the work deadlines and some minor prom issues to address (hair appointments must be made immediately, it seems).

I'm slipping myself into overdrive. Wait for it ...

Advent reflections

Advent is a huge holiday in the Episcopal church (the church I attend), but it is not so much a celebration touchpoint in my own home. When my children were small, we didn't start advent traditions, probably because our families didn't have them growing up. That was before the blogsphere made it possible to find cool tradition-starters for just about any holiday. I've said it before: If the bloggy world had been around when I was a younger mom, things would have been different.

Oops! Rabbit trail!

Back to point.

For that reason, I have a hard time embracing Advent beyond a countdown to Christmas. I know, not good. So, I've bought my little devotional and I'm giving it a try.

Happy second week of Advent. 

How I make money with Textbroker

  
Yesterday, the venerable raters at Textbroker upped my writer rating from 3 to 4. Frankly, I'm a little cranked not to be a 5, because I am a 5, but here's how this site works for me and why I really don't care about the 4 rating. If you're a writer with very limited freelance time, you might try this, too.

Textbroker.com has small freelance writing jobs that you pickup online, write and submit, all based on the sometimes sketchy instructions from clients you don't meet. They're rated 1-5, and you can write below your rating, but not  above. Higher-rated assignments pay incrementally higher. I've found them to be a stand-up organization thus far.

Here's how I'm using Textbroker to make money, and why I'm not so worked up about my somewhat lame rating (given my skill set and background).

• I work 40-plus hours a week and have a crazy-busy family life, so I don't have much time to make extra bucks, and frankly, by the time I sit down to work, my brain is a wee bit thrashed. It's been a long day. But, I need a little extra cash. I do.
• I log in to Textbroker, scroll through the jobs and find one I can write with little or no research. Usually I can find one that pays between $1.50 and $2.50. Stay with me here.
• Then I slam the copy out. I mean, I write fast. Luckily, I can do that. I give myself 30 minutes, tops to write and proofread my copy. Sometimes I can do it in 15 minutes. Some assignments are 150 words or so.
• Then I submit the assignment and move to the next one.

You're thinking, "Girl, you can do better than $5 an hour, that's less than you'd make at Wendy's." Yes, I can make much more, but remember, my brain is fried because it's late evening, I'm in my sweats, and I may even be drinking a glass of wine. I'm working when and where I can. Now that $5 looks a little better, right?

So back to the initial point about my rating. I can slam out copy, self-proof, which any writer knows is tough to do well, submit the story and do it all in 30 minutes. That, my friends, is quick work. If I spent more time, more carefully crafted each sentence, etc., I'd be a 5. But then my hourly wage would be less. So for me, slightly-above-average rating works just fine.

What do you think? Am I selling out, or have I found a reasonably good gig?

(By the way, so far the clients submitting the jobs to Textbroker have rated my copy Excellent, and you know I love a happy client!)

 

Flickriver.com photo

 

 

Dancing on the edge: Or why my finances make me nuts

I spend a lot of time reading personal-finance blogs. Practically every workday, when I'm nibbling my self-packed lucnch of leftovers, I browse through my bookmarked library of personal-finance blogs. Why?

I live life on the personal-finance edge. Yep, that's me, dancing on the sharp edge of financial chaos every day. That's a place I never thought I'd be. But here I am.

Here's the skinny:

Three kids, not enough advance planning for college financing. I won't bore with my reasons, but let's just say I should have saved more, and if things had gone the way we'd planned financially, we would have saved more. That said, we have made a personal commitment to provide our three children with a debt-free education. I know it sounds silly, but my parents gave me that gift, and I want to pass that to my children. Builder Man didn't have that option.

Kid #1 is done and working. He graduated in July and had a job lined up. 'Nuff said. Kid #2 is starting his second year. He transfered to a very reasonable state school after doing junior college for a year. Kid #3 starts in the fall.

Too much credit card debt. Yeah, yeah, I know. I read the blogs, I listen to Dave Ramsey. I was stupid. I charged stuff I couldn't afford to pay for last year, and now I have to pay it back. I've taken some steps to keep things moving in the right direction, but I've never owed more than $2,000 before. I know we can do it, and it's not like $20,000, but it is more than the national average, which hovers around $5,000 per household.

Iffy career outlooks. I'm in print media. Enough said. I've made it thorugh numerous layoffs, but really, my number is coming, I know it. More on that at a later date. My husband owns his own construction business. That's been loads of fun the last couple of years. He's kept it together, but just barely.

Some nights, I can't sleep. We have a plan, and we're moving ahead, but there are too many unknowns out there, ya know? I'm a virgo, I like things organized and settled. (Not a great bar come-on line, is it?)

So what's the point of all this? Fridays are going to be financial posts, mostly, and the above-state is the "why" of all this. Follow me, if you like, as I work my way through the tangled web that is my finances.

My gift to you: a couple of PF (personal finance, that is. See? I'm like the in crowd, only not) blogs. Read, digest, talk amongst yourselves. See you back here next week for Fearless Fianancial Friday.

Wise Bread
Billed as a community of bloggers to help you live large on a small budget, you'll find lots of tips and ideas on living well for less here.  The tone is easy to handle: Never preachy.

Budgets are sexy. This blog had me at "our name is a sentence, so we'll use a period." That type of attention to detail appeals to the editor in me. Give them a visit.

Enjoy the weekend.

Wordless Wednesday: Standing guard

While the daughter unit enjoyed a University of Oklahoma football game with friends during her college visit, her mom spent the day in Oklahoma City. While at theNational Cowboy and Western Heritage Museum I took note of the security guards. I love a clean-cut guy in a cowboy hat.

I recommend the museum. It's exhaustive, covering fine art, clothing, movie and TV cowboys and much more. There are some excellent Native American areas in the museum, far more than a passing nod to the West's first residents.

Many of the guards were older gentlemen who wore their jobs -- and their uniforms -- with a quiet dignity that seemed to say, "This is more than a job to me." I hope so.

Blessings this Wordless Wednesday. (Hey, I'm a writer, there is no such thing as a Wordless anything.)

Sorry about the grainy picture. I had just my iPhone with me.

I'm linking up for Wordless Wednesday with Sweet Pea (another Texas Girl) at Newlyweds and I'm No. 475 at the Wordless Wednesday site (that's a lot of wordlessness!)

Menu plan Monday

Since this is my first Menu Plan Monday post, I don't have any lovely original art. But ... I've got stock art!

I'm a long-time menu-planner, because I like to buy my groceries with the next week's meal in mind. I don't know if it saves money, but it sure saves time running to the store at the last minute for that one missing ingredient or mooching off the neighbors.

So, here goes:

On Monday, we'll have either penne or spaghetti with pesto, peppers, onion and chicken. I've got tons of pesto from the garden (and I should get cracking and make some more). I'll add greens to last night's salad leftovers and we'll ge good to go. One note about the pesto, I don't add cream cheese or cream. Just naked pesto, Parmesan cheese and the pasta. I like it better that way.

On Tuesday, Mr. Crockpot will be doing his wild thing with Slowcooker Hoppin' John from the blog A Year of Crockpotting. I have music practice at church, so if I leave my family members to their own devices, everyone will go to Chick-fil-A. That drives me crazy. This is a new recipe, so we'll see how it is received.

Wednesday is baked chicken and baked squash. Heck, if the oven's on, make good use of the darned thing, right? The baked squash is an old recipe that's supposed to mimic that of Black Eyed Pea restaurant. We'll see.

Thursday night is Italian Sandwiches night. Another crockpot recipe, this one never fails to please.  I always make double. In a shocking lack of originality, we'll have salad again. Luckily, my family eats salad like it's going out of style.  I'll post the recipe for the sandwiches and a photo next Monday (hopefully).

Friday night is football night, so it's every man/woman/teen for themselves. My daughter's on the dance team, so we're off to the high school game. MFND (no, that's not something nasty ... what were you thinking? It's Mustang Fight Never Dies!)

Saturday night is grilling night. My husband, Builder Man, is in charge of the whole darned meal, which I LOVE! Gotta keep that guy around another 25 years!

That's all from the cool and comfy (really, no sarcasm here) Texas Gulf Coast. "Where's my sweater honey? It's below 90 degrees out there!" Organizing Junkie's Menu Plan Monday. Give her a visit and be inspired.

foodnetwork.com photo

The three minute lunch ... one step back to prosperity

We all heard it. The recession ended in June of 2009. Pardon me if I suggest not all of us are living the dream, as they say.

Everyone decides what works best for them when it comes to clawing their way back to prosperity. Bringing my lunch at least three days a week is one way I can save, so I can pay down that nasty credit card bill left from the "months-we-couldn't-make-ends-meet" era. Yeah, I know, I shouldn't have, but I did and that's done. So now, it's rebuilding time.

The key to making this economic change is to make it easy. So here's my plan for the three-minute lunch. That's a lunch I can have in the container, in the bag and done in three minutes, right before I walk out the door.

Stat with a carrying case. A snappy insulated lunch bag can perk up a morning, but a roomy tote can hide the evidence of your frugality, if you prefer. If you don't have access to a fridge at work, buy a reusable cold pack. If you don't have a microwave at work, check Target or WalMart for insulated containers.

And now, the food:

1. Eat leftovers. I'm a good cook, darn it! I like to eat my leftovers ... but only one day a week. A girl gets bored.
2. Make lunch food ahead. Whip up some soup, a tasty chicken salad, or lay in the sandwich fixings over the weekend. Sometimes I even package the stuff in single-serving containers. (Warn your family members off these goodies or you'll be in for a shock some morning.)
3. Stock the pantry with quick-fix items. Ahhh ... and here's the three-minute lunch at it's best.

• Tuna in the pouch, a splash of your condiment of choice and a few crackers and you have lunch.
• Even faster: tuna pouch, bottle of salad dressing, a few lettuce leaves ripped right off the head (placed in a baggie). Ta-da, a healthy, protein-rich salad.
• Keep pita and hummus in the fridge and you can grab the bag of pita, the container of hummus and a piece of fruit. Not a perfectly balanced meal, but not bad, really. (Remember to bring the extras back, you're not going to eat four pieces of pita, are you??)

You'll find your favorites go-to items and you'll see what works best for you. Just remember my rule: If you've got to spend more than three minutes in the morning getting things ready, you're probably going to have trouble sticking to this.  Of course, that's based on my experience ... let me know if you find something that works better.

Practically Fearless Living Photo

Wordless Wednesday: A trip to "The City"

When I was in college in Tulsa, we called Oklahoma City "The City." Last weekend I was in Norman, Oklahoma with the Daughter Unit doing a college visit. While she went to the OU-Air Force game, her ticketless mom went "touristing in "The City."

With the soundtrack from "Eat, Pray, Love" on my iPod, I visited here:

Was amused by the western-clad museum security dudes (they were very nice):

And reflected on how quickly life can spin out of control here (Oklahoma City National Memorial & Museum, site of the Alfred P. Murrah building bombing):

 

Each chair represents a bombing victim. The little chairs? They represent the children who died. It is a very powerful representation.

I'm linking to the great blog, Newlyweds: Exploring the Joys of Marriage for Wordless Wednesday. Please drop by and pay her a visit. Why? 'Cause she's a fellow Texan and her little boys are absolutely adorable. You can also find this and lots of other Wordless Wednesday posts at (wait for it ... Wordless Wedneday).

Blessings.

Practically Fearless Living photos

Just finish something, will ya?

This, I finish ...

There's a school of thought that goes something like this: If you pay for something, you'll do it/use it/learn it, no matter how distasteful. I'm living proof that dog don't hunt, as we say in Texas.

Gym? Renewed my membership, determined to go at least three times a week and lose my -- yes, it's true -- post-50-year-old spread.

Spanish lessons? Going on three years now, maybe longer. I still haven't mastered the past (preterite) tense. If I were my teacher, I'd flunk me. I'm pretty sure she's going to start asking me to pay her in Xanex soon.

Blog? I'm a writer, for Pete's sake. You'd think I'd do it for free, wouldn't you? I mean, thousands ... maybe hundreds of thousands ... of aspiring writers put entire books out there and never earn a penny. Me? I have to pay someone else to write, thank-you Mr. Typepad, and I still can't be consistant.

Was I the one who gave my boys ADD? (If you don't believe in ADD, please talk amongst yourselves for this paragraph.) I mean, I always blamed  my husband, but at the rate I've paid for things I've never finished, I'm starting to wonder.

The only thing I ever seem to finish is dinner (see gym, above) and books. Someone elses books.

I blame it on the Internet. Thank-you, Al Gore